About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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