didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
