Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
