my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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