Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
