Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
