What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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