i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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