started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it's like heaven, but drunker
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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