I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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