Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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