I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize