You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
