Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
