I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
