the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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