i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
