i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
