I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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