put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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