some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
