she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
