we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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