is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
