i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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