Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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