You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
