Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
