It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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