I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
