So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize