The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize