its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
