That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
