My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
