He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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