I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
