My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
