How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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