You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
