I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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