im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
