honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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