He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
