I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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