oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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