the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
