shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
