Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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