literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
