have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
