the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
