dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
