You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize