Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
