grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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