My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The power of my boobs compel you
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
