I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
