That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just threw up on my dentist
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
