Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
