her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
