yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
