she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
