I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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