A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize