these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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